If you are a non-native English speaker – who is neither familiar with idiomatic expressions nor a chef by profession – what will immediately come to your mind if you hear for the first time the term ‘spotted dick’? Most likely, the stored vocabulary of pornographic literature in your brain will be triggered. Thus, you will interpret it as an entity that has a sexual connotation.

When I recently watched the movie titled King Ralph again, my memory about my first encounter with ‘spotted dick’ while in England – some 31 years ago – was suddenly rekindled. King Ralph is an American comedy film that was released in 1991, which was directed by David S. Ward. Emlyn Williams’ novel titled Headlong loosely provided this movie’s story context. Major cast of characters include: John Goodman as Ralph Hampton Gainsworth Jones; Peter O’Toole as Sir Cedric Charles Willingham; John Hurt as Lord Percival Graves; Camille Coduri as Miranda Greene; and James Villiers as Prime Minister Geoffrey Haile.

Briefly, the film is about an American who becomes the unlikely King of the United Kingdom after a bizarre electrocution accident wipes out the entire British royal family. This American happens to be Ralph Hampton Gainsworth Jones, who both plays and sings popular music at a bar. He was discovered by Sir Cedric Charles Willingham to be an illegitimate grandchild of the late King, and thus, the only survivor of the royalty’s blood line.

Sir Willingham was tasked to mentor him about the ways of a royal Englishman. Among others, Sir Willingham re-oriented him about English history. Being used to American liberalism, Ralph was shocked to learn that King Henry VIII ordered Anne Boleyn’s decapitation when she could not bear him a son! Sir Willingham also introduced him to traditional English dishes that include roast beef, Yorkshire pudding, mash, bangers and the ever popular spotted dick. The last two dishes have sexual connotation: bangers (that connote predatory males who indiscriminately fuck women) are actually sausages. Ralph was particularly aghast upon hearing the dish called spotted dick. In literal American sense, it means a penis with black or darkened spots! He was even hesitant to offer it to Camille, his date later, after partaking their meals.

Against this movie backdrop, my first encounter with spotted dick happened in England in the evening of 24 December 1988. I was then an overseas post graduate student at Wye College (Figure 1) taking up the Master of Science (M.Sc.) in Rural Resources and Environmental Policy. (During that time, Wye College formed part of the academic units within the University of London system).

Wye College is located in the historic village of Wye (Figure 2 and Figure 3). It is a mostly hilly village with scenic rural countryside features. This place may have been a worship place by the pre-Christian Angles as the name is derived from the Old English ‘Wēoh’ that translates to either ‘idol’ or ‘shrine’. During medieval time, Wye was a prominent market and meeting place. In contemporary time, Wye is administratively within the Ashford District. In turn, Ashford is situated in the historic Shire County of Kent, which has magnificent cathedrals (such as the Canterbury Cathedral) and medieval castles, in England’s South East Region.

Having stayed in England for over 15 months straight from September 1988 to December 1989, the expression that the English people have ‘stiff upper lips’ needs to be contextualized. Yes, they may be more formal – if not more reserved – as compared to the other English-speaking peoples: meaning Americans, Australians and Canadians. Nonetheless, a great majority of them are actually very welcoming and friendly to foreign students like me who is a brown-skinned Asian. I was a recipient of many invitations for free meals and social gatherings. Some couples (Filipinas married to Englishmen) were even kind enough to pick me up at Wye College to tour me around and offer me sumptuous drinks and meals.

Now back to my story. On that fateful evening of 24 December 1988, my fellow post graduate student from Africa named Hakuba (that’s how I recall his name) and I were invited for a Christmas dinner by an amiable English couple at their house at Wye Village. (Hakuba hailed from Uganda and was taking up an M.Sc. in Agricultural Economics.) I could no longer recall our host’s surname but the gentleman’s name is Peter and the wife’s name is Cindy. Under heavy snow and the blowing cold wind, Peter kindly fetched us at our men’s dormitory called Squires.

Upon arrival at their home, Cindy warmly welcomed us. It was indeed a picturesque snowy Christmas that I only fantasized when I was a child in our rural hometown in the Philippines. Peter even helped us remove our winter clothes and hanged them behind the front door. The English people normally use the expression ‘Happy Christmas’ as opposed to the American ‘Merry Christmas’. John Lennon used the title Happy Xmas (War Is Over) in his famous Christmas song.

Our conversation at the sala or living room – covering a range of topics – was quite relaxing and friendly. (Initially, we also met their daughter and her fiancée, who happened to be a military pilot in the British Air Force). They were very cordial host, who asked the situation about our home countries. Hakuba described some facets of Ugandan life, while I described a few facts and figures about the Philippines.

Inevitably, the Christmas eve dinner came and we eventually transferred to the huge dining table. It was simply full of dishes for a traditional English Christmas dinner. Watching such dishes in movies was intriguing enough; actually seeing such a variety of sumptuous foods was simply marvelous. It was literally like a family feast.

Admittedly, both of us were quite naïve in the proper dinner etiquette. We did not know which utensils to use for which dish, and thus, we initially simply followed the cues of our gracious host. Suffice it to say that we must have been an unusual pair of overseas students who were eating with enthusiasm and gusto – as if there was no tomorrow!  Hakuba was a black African with kinky and afro hair while I was a brown Oriental with a long, wavy hair who was sporting mustache and beard (Figure 4.). Frankly told, we were only half listening to our hosts’ explanation of the dishes while we munched on our food. Simply told, we did not care about our barbaric table manners!

Let me digress that many of these foods then were quite new to us. Admittedly, at 26 years of age, that was my first time to see a whole cooked turkey in a huge silvery and oval-shaped platter and actually ate portions of it! Through the years, I really have not paid attention to the social graces of fine or formal dining. The only dining protocol I recall is you start with the utensils on top of you. In the case of utensils on your side, you use them starting from those outside going inwards. Much later, I was invited as the representative of Asian graduate students during the 1989 visit of Princess Anne, the elder sister of Prince Charles. (I will write about this face-to-face meeting with a British Royal Princess in a separate blog.) During that by-invitation-only lunch, I already finished all the food, and yet, I had used barely half of my set of utensils!

Anyway, let me describe the Christmas eve dinner scenario. (I have downloaded a few pictures from the internet to illustrate selected dishes while a few photos were kindly shared by a cousin.) For starters, leek and potato soup (Figure 5) was self-served. It was sprinkled over the top with what looked like crushed saltines or oyster crackers. There was also smoked salmon (Figure 6) (not sure if it was sourced from Scotland), which was accompanied by an herb-flavored dill sauce. It was actually my first time to eat salmon outside of a tin can!

Main courses consisted of an array of meat dishes: beef, pork and poultry. The slices of roast beef (Figure 7) were succulent and juicy with brown-colored thick gravy. Our host likewise pointed to the other impressive beef dish called as beef Wellington. We learned that this is a traditional boeuf en croute – or simply called as beef wrapped in pastry.

Pork dishes included pigs in a blanket (Figure 8) – also known as sausages wrapped in bacon. (We were told that in Scotland, these are called kilted sausages!) There were also several types of ham. Turkey (Figure 9) was conveniently displayed in the center of the table. This was accompanied by garnishes and sauces, including cranberry sauce. The turkey had herb stuffing, with onion-like taste. I recall eating the leg portion.

Veggies consisted mainly of shredded or salad-like Brussels sprouts (Figure 10). (I barely ate it as I did not like the slightly bitter taste.) These were mixed with crunchy nuts (that may have been walnuts or pecans). There was likewise braised red cabbage. Apple juice was used to sweeten it and was also sprinkled with mustard seeds.

Our carbohydrates were mainly potatoes (both mashed and roasted). Roasted potatoes (Figure 11), which were cut into small squares, were golden brown in color. These were heated in the oven with what could have been olive oil plus assorted/assortment of herbs (such as thyme and parsley) as well as condiments like salt and pepper. There were also a variety of breads with varying sizes and shapes. We also tried the Yorkshire pudding (Figure 12), which is made from a batter that includes eggs, milk and flour.

After the main courses, we started to partake the desserts on display that included the English trifle (Figure 13) which is a combination of sort of fruit, sponge cake, whipped cream and pudding. The mince pies (Figure 14) were filled with a mixture of fruits such sultanas and cranberries, including assorted chopped nuts and spices such as cinnamon and nutmeg. These were dusted with a little icing sugar.

Just when we thought that there was no more dish to try out, Peter stood up. He then asked both Hakuba and myself with something like “Would you like to try my spotted dick?” We were both surprised, and were not actually sure if we misheard the words, misinterpreted the pronunciation, or were simply confused with the accent. We simply said yes and sheepishly nodded our head in agreement. Peter and Cindy then left for the kitchen. We silently conversed about what a spotted dick really was as both of us have never heard of it before (Figure 15). Therefore, we had remained clueless as the term was beyond our comprehension.

Both of us were relatively greenhorn as far as overseas travels are concerned. Hakuba’s trip to England was his first European sojourn. In my case, that was only my second trip outside of the Philippines. (The first trip was a six-week trip in Hawaii, USA, in July 1987.) And both of us were relatively novice about fine dining. Simply told, we were illiterate in terms of culinary terminologies and etiquette alike. At that time, the only English food I loved to eat was fish-and-chips wrapped in newspapers! Thus, we were in awe anticipation of what would happen next. Although no more words were spoken, we were intently gazing at each other’s eyes, silently envisioning what either or both of us would do about Peter’s dick. These are the ascending severity of the three possible scenarios: (1) simply hold or fondle it; (2) lick it; or (3) actually suck it! Our wild guess was it could have been an unusual English cultural tradition, that is much akin to the Eskimos who offer their wives to strangers.

A few minutes later, Peter came back to the dining table holding on to a medium-sized tray. (Contrary to our unwarranted anticipation, he was not stark naked!) We were in awe as he stopped walking, stood in between us, and showed closely the tray’s content. Both of us were relieved that it was after all just a dessert (Figure 16). Only then did we realize the meaning of Peter’s earlier statement: he personally cooked the spotted dick.

At my first glance, I thought the dish was a variant of a huge, sweetened embutido. I am referring to embutido as the cured and dry sausages found in the cuisines that were introduced to the Philippines by the Spanish colonizers. Hakuba and I leisurely partaked portions of the spotted dick. It actually tasted great: sweet, creamy and succulent.

It was only much later that we researched about the spotted dick’s history. The foregoing description is abstracted from Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotted_dick). Briefly, spotted dick is a traditional British pudding alternately called as ‘plum bolster’, ‘railway cake’ or ‘spotted dog’. Often served with custard, spotted dick used to be made of suet and dried fruit, usually currants and/or raisins. Variation to suet is the use of butter and egg, that is more akin to a sponge cake. Moreover, the shape also varies: from the typical rounded pudding (Figure 17); to rectangular ones (as depicted in the movie King Ralph); or even sausage-like shape similar to the one that Hakuba and I ate.

In terms of etymology, the word ‘spotted’ specifically refers to the obvious: dried fruits or raisins in the pudding that resemble the dark or blackened spots. The words ‘dick’ and ‘dog’ though, used to be synonymous with ‘dough’. It was not in any way associated with sex. Hence, dick may simply refer to plain pudding.

In closing, I have never been back to England since I left in December 1989. But I departed from this great and magnificent country with many wonderful memories during my straight 15-month stint there. And the most significant culinary lesson that I will always remember – during that festive Christmas eve at Peter’s and Cindy’s house at Wye Village – was our first encounter with the immensely popular dish called spotted dick!

Acknowledgement: I sincerely thank my good English friend, Stuart ‘Tong’ Green, for reviewing the draft blog and Ms. Roselyn ‘Dong’ Jarapa for sending some photos.

Copyright © 2019 by Michael D Pido